How to Create a Sober Support System (And Who Should Be Part of It)

Recovering from an addiction is hard work. It’s a non-linear and time-consuming process. It’s not something you have to do alone, though.

You can make the process easier with the right treatment services and some social support. This post is all about the latter. Read on to learn more about creating a sober support system.

Why Creating a Sober Support Network Is Often an Uphill Battle

There’s a reason why people see alcohol (and some illicit substances) as a social lubricant. It can, after all, tune down inhibitions and anxiety. But once the situation gets out of hand and turns into a full-blown disorder, you’ll realize that addiction damages a person’s relationships.

The destructive behavior patterns that come along with substance use disorders (SUDs) push people to become withdrawn and isolated. Conflicts with loved ones are also a common issue.

So, when the person figures out that they need a strong support system, they might find themself in a tricky position.

By then, they have to do more than build new supportive networks. They’ll need to focus on their personal growth as they work on winning back the relationships they “lost” to their addiction.

Who to Include in Your Support System

Support systems can include anyone from your primary care physician to your trustworthy friend. Basically, anyone who can celebrate your long-term recovery milestones, hear your problems, steer you away from relapses, and help you up if you do fall is a candidate.

Let’s take a look at the elements that typically make up a recovering patient’s support network.

Professional Help

You might not realize this at the time. However, the moment you walk into an addiction treatment center, you start building your support network.

Treatment plans can involve counselors, therapists, mental health clinicians, and physicians. They all work together to support the patient as they detox and take the first steps in their recovery journey. Even coaches can provide unbiased and impartial guidance.

Keep in mind that centers like the Mid Hudson Addiction Recovery Center employ specialists who are in recovery themselves. This makes the team members more capable of understanding patients’ struggles with substance abuse.

Peer-to-Peer Support

While you’re doing inpatient programs, you could make your first sober friends.

Odds are, your center will offer some sort of group therapy where you can bond over shared experiences. Group therapy will also give you some social support and keep you from feeling isolated as you push through the first stages of treatment.

If you attend recovery groups (like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous) later, you might just find an existing network to lean on.

Mentorship or Sponsorship

Besides peer support, you could find a suitable sponsor in your support group meetings.

A sponsor is typically someone who has been in recovery for over a year. Some people prefer picking sponsors with similar backgrounds. But either way, their main role is to help members in early recovery navigate 12-step programs.

That said, mentors/sponsors won’t replace the addiction treatment professionals. So, you might still need to continue seeing your therapist after getting a sponsor.

Family and Friends

Your loved ones can provide motivation while still helping you stick to a strict schedule. In fact, experts believe that people who have supportive family members are more likely to remain in treatment.

That’s why having a strong support network of family and friends makes you a better candidate for outpatient rehab (rather than a full or partial residential program).

Obviously, supportive families listen without judgment and help juggle the logistical aspects of treatment and recovery. However, they can actually play an active role in the treatment plan by attending family therapy sessions.

7 Tips for Building a Sober Support System

Because every recovery journey is different, there’s no blueprint for creating sober support systems. There are a few tips that can help you find your own network, though.

1. Educate Yourself and Understand Your Needs

When someone is trying to overcome an SUD, the first step is always recognizing the need to get sober. This part is tricky, but there’s no recovery process without it.

Similarly, the first step to building a strong sober support network is acknowledging that you need a support network.

Social and emotional support is so crucial for long-lasting recovery that the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) considers it one of the four dimensions of recovery.

What are the other three dimensions, you ask? They are health, home (safe spaces), and purpose, which only goes to show how important that sense of belonging is for sobriety.

Once you realise how important social support is, you can start a discussion with your recovery coach about the next steps. Try to figure out how much your peers and loved ones should be involved in the treatment plan and what exactly you expect from each one.

It also helps to set realistic expectations of what life will be like after you complete the inpatient treatment program. Consider the coping mechanisms you’ve learned and how friends can help you deal with cravings.

2. Communicate Clearly, Honestly, and Frequently

Now that you have a better idea about your recovery goals and what sort of support you need from the people close to you, put that into action.

Sit down with your loved ones and have an honest discussion. It’s okay to do this in family therapy. You need to be comfortable setting boundaries and asking for help.

When you do reach out to ask for help, make sure you’re being specific. After all, there’s only so much that your loved ones can do for you if they don’t understand your needs. And when they do lend a helping hand, accept it!

This last part sounds easy, but you’d be surprised how difficult it can be. You actually need to push yourself to stay connected and check in with people often. If you disappear and cut ties, you’ll only make it harder for them to help.

Instead, you want to positively reinforce their support. Letting people know that you’re thankful for what they’re doing will make them more willing to be part of your support system.

3. Find Sober Social Activities Near You

Joining spaces where sobriety is the norm will reduce the risk of relapse. It’s also a chance to find like-minded sober friends who care about your well-being.

Fortunately, it’s not hard to find sober activities in and around New York. Yoga classes, strolls, art workshops, and museum tours are all good picks.

4. Give Transitional Living Programs a Shot

While you’re working on your aftercare plan, consider opting for sober living housing.

Sober living housing programs are created with one goal in mind. And that goal is to offer a delicate balance of structure and freedom to help ease people into “normal” life after receiving inpatient treatment for their alcohol or drug addiction.

In the sober living home, you’ll meet a team of therapists, social workers, and peers in similar phases of recovery. So, it’s the perfect place to find a community, give (and receive) support, and work on your social relationships in a safe environment.

5. Don’t Limit Yourself to In-Person Support Groups

You don’t have to meet everyone in your support system face-to-face. Digital Recovery Support Services (D-RSS) offer peer-to-peer support in the form of online connections. Think video conferencing and communication apps.

D-RSS can be quite helpful, especially when in-person alternatives are limited. It’s still helpful for those who live somewhere remote.

6. Be Patient and Know That It’s Okay to Start Small

Big changes can be extremely hard and intimidating for everyone involved. Some friends will want to be supportive but will lack the skills to do it the right way. You, too, will need time to learn to nurture healthy relationships. So, be patient and don’t rush things.

It’s okay to start with one or two strong support pillars and go from there. As you proceed in your journey, you’ll meet more people who fit into your network.

7. Understand That Support Systems Look Different in Different Phases

There are several stages of recovery, and it’s normal for your needs to change over time.

Early on, your support circle might be limited to peers in the recovery center, close family, and maybe a friend or two. Later, you might find a sense of belonging in a sober living home.

At one point, you might even turn into a sponsor yourself and become part of someone else’s support network. Then, you’ll realize that sponsoring someone doesn’t just help the “sponsee”. It also strengthens the sponsor’s sobriety.

Find a Strong Sober Support Network in NY

No matter where you are on your recovery journey, it’s possible to start building the sort of support system that will help you stay clean and sober.

For more resources and guidance, don’t hesitate to speak with our recovery advocates today.